Sean emphasized non-judgement and compassion. These are important concepts for teachers to reflect on and unpack.
What is judgement?
JUDGEMENT: the ability to make considered decisions or come to sensible conclusions. [Oxford Dictionary ]
One of my traditionally trained Dharma teachers has consistently and correctly, for decades, sensibly and sincerely told his new students in groups and individual consultations, that they are “delusional” and “mad”.
He tells them that the majority of student reactions to this unexpected assessment of themselves and modern humans are predictable and they too are very likely reacting in these predictable ways: some are amused, some think he is joking or exaggerating, some are perplexed by it, some are resentful / defensive / angry, some protest, some leave, some ignore. He tells them it is their madness that causes all of these reactions.
A small number of students clearly hear it, recognize it, are shaken by it, catch a glimpse of clarity, and intuitively know that it is an accurate and rational judgement.
We now live in a time of radical individualism that is characterized by pathological alienation, mass confusion, and self-obsession. Everyone is trained to follow their own path, to regard themselves as their own teacher, to believe that they know what is best for themselves, to defend their endlessly groomed, flimsy, conditioned identity and to look for teachers that will confirm and encourage all this for them.
To sensibly challenge this nonsense is commonly mistaken now as judgy. In this topsy turvy degenerating time, truths like what my teacher clearly, matter-of-factly and, importantly, very compassionately states, are regarded as threatening to the mass of received fictions people drug themselves with to convince themselves that they (and modern society) aren’t completely and dangerously mad.
Traditional Dharma (the origin of ‘mindfulness’) teachers didn’t bend over backwards to be nonjudgmental. They made sure that their judgements weren’t the result of deluded patterns of thought or habitual emotional reaction. They sensibly judged. They were compassionately judgmental. Which begs the question: what is compassion?
My definition, consistent with my traditional Dharma training, is that it is a synthesis of an acute clarity and a generous kindness that is produced / informed by it. Clarity + kindness = compassion. When my teacher tells his new students that they are actually mad, this is a ‘judgmental’ (refer to the Oxford definition again) expression of compassion … a skillful gift of acute clarity and generous kindness.
While it is important to listen to students, and really hear them, it is critically important, if we are to be effective teachers, to carefully judge what they say from a place of clarity and kindness, with the understanding that the most generous and kindest evaluation, and the presentation of a remedy for their confusion and madness, should also cut through their madness rather than enable it.
Teaching is medicine and compassionate effective teachers are healers who understand that medicine can be painful and difficult to swallow.
I like the questions that mentioned in the webinar. Those questions have reminded me how I used to introduce and make connection with the audiences when I led educational workshops with adults.
Sometimes, people doesn’t know exactly why they want to join a course and what they want to achieve. Having those questions allows participants and also myself to think and reflect on the WHAY and WHY.
Thank you Jeffrey for the ideas of unpacking the two concepts. The concept of judgement can be vary from different people’s perspectives. The choice of words in conversation is something needed to be mindful of. Also, depends on the person’s personal experiences, sometimes, asking a simple question can be felt like being judged. So, embodied non-judgemental attitude is essential to be a mindfulness teacher.
This is a great webinar! Thank you.
So Happy to be onboard; thank you so much! I started to question myself as a Senior; who will listen to me as a Senior? The key for me will be: Showing a true Compassion, Engaging with the right questions, & proceeding forward with a Motivation to help them be guided with Confidence! I saw a slide on the Web one day that I hold onto today that, says, “Be The Change”, so here I am!
Thank you so much for sharing in your self-sabotage fears. I am here with this self-doubt and judgement. I want to be sure to help people in a positive direction and not lead in an ego state. I am glad to be taking this training and hearing you speak to what I have heard the greatest teachers speak to. I appreciate you!
Thank you, and I also love all the comments. Being compassionate and kind is one of the greatest skills I want to teach people. Bringing awareness to my own fears is important to me, it enables me to help others to overcome their fears. I am very exited to be here!
Oh Thank you so much 🙏 Sean for highlighting the difference between “Pity, Sympathy, Empathy and Compassion” .. I always thought I had a lot of Empathy for those around me and today I can confirm that it has always been Compassion. I thought I did understand what compassion was but actually I have been compassionate all my life. What an amazing realisation … Thank you 🙏Thank you 🙏Thank you🙏
Estoy absolutamente de acuerdo en que la primera regla para enseñar Mindfulness con integridad sea la compasión. Par mí la compasión tiene la capacidad de transformar al ser humano y a la sociedad porque es el proceso de acercarse a la dificultad, al dolor y al sufrimiento y lograr estar con ellos de manera amable y con amor y luego es el deseo y la acción de aliviar ese sufrimiento. Desde esa compasión no hay juicio, solo amor incondicional hacia la otra persona, deseo de que se libere de su sufrimiento y de que sea feliz. Desde ese sentimiento todo es entregado y recibido desde el corazón y no desde el juicio.
Love this teaching on non-judgmental awareness. I also agree that having compassion and kindness for ourselves and for others is so important and want to help others develop a similar appreciation.
Thank you Sean. Self-doubt is something I struggle with and this video brought to light important reminders such as Embody the beginner's mind and asking people about themselves – why, what, how. Important foundation for this training.
I really enjoyed this lesson. I feel now in middle age I am beginning to explore my world with greater curiosity than ever before. I am grateful to be here at this time. I have self doubt , social anxiety and experience impostor syndrome which has held me back in the past. I am looking forward now with greater optimism.
Thank you, Sean. This lesson allowed me to extend compassion towards myself so I can allow the same for others, unconditionally. I have what it takes to learn and teach just by being accepting of myself and others where I am, right now. In time, I will learn and develop more, adding to what I have now and practicing that now.
This is this character trait that convince me to take this journey. I've managed many struggles during my childhood and developed a great sense of empathy which becomes then by being very attentive and sensible to what people around me are facing into their lives or feeling .
There is also no doubt That I will need to build confidence while choosing to master mindfulness and teach to others
I've found that Compassion for me has been a way to hold my clients with an energy / open door to the possibility that as I have judgement- free space, that they too can start to look at things judgement free…. that what they called "pain, hurt, story" can become "things, moments, sensations". the moment you can get to a time when pain doesn't have to be labeled, the acceptance starts demistifying and depowering pain… so what I'm saying is that compassion is really a key that can unlock WAY MORE than people realize.
My personal path as spiritual very spiritual human being has been not judging. I was a layer so, I was very judgemental in my way of being, but having two kids made me more kind and flexible and now in this path of mindfulness, and primordial sound mantra teacher and student of quantum physics in Quantum University is for me a pleasure to live without judgements in my mind, my heart feels much more soft and light and I flow most of the time, even though I am very aware I have to do my practice everyday to stay on on track of the observer of the thoughts, senses, experiences etc… Living with curiosity teaching with my most humanity vulnerability and humility. Embracing the universal conscious and be open to everyone and everything,.
I resonate with this title and my biggest takeaway from this lecture was to be compassionate and open with people I am working with…no judgment. Cultivate a sense of care.
compassion for self and trust that whatever I can offer if I offer it with compassion and integrity that is enough. I think of a quote that I'm not sure I remember completely accurately, along the lines of:
"you may not be the best person for the job. but in this moment you are the person for the job, do your best."
I really appreciate the way you set up the dynamic between teacher and student (not sure those are really the best descriptors, but they are clear, for the purpose of the comment here). The approach of leaning in to what the student seeks versus what we might think they need is a beautiful way to express and lead sessions from a place of the beginner's mind for both student and teacher. Lovely way to set the session(s) up for compassionate interaction. Thank you!
As I begin my training, I am reminded to be compassionate for others and for myself. I also wrote down the questions you shared and I will be reflecting on them. Thanks, Sean. This was very helpful and enlightening.
Thank you Sean. I believe my main take away from that lovely introduction is to have the care and well-being of the client/student foremost in all interactions and to appreciate the privilege it is to play a part in that person's progress along the mindfulness path.
I love the questions you pose for us to be thinking about our clients but also really reflecting on why we want to be doing this work: "Why do I …?" "How can I…?"
I 1000% relate to the Empathy vs Compassion. Empathy is something you feel, compassion is taking that feeling and putting it into an action for another with nothing expected in return.
As an Educator in Preschool AND Higher Ed, my goal has always been to consider the individual's needs whether they are 5 or 20. I am consistently suggesting to my colleagues "In order to know what our students want or need, we need to ask them directly." This holds true in my personal life as well.
I am looking forward to deepening this knowledge through more practices and specific questions.
I really appreciated the Empathy vs Compassion slide with the Pity-Sympathy-Empathy-Compassion definitions below. People get these words confused often and this was a simple delineation that made it so clear.
I want to be sure to help people in a positive direction and not lead in an ego state. I am glad to be taking this training it keeps me in the present moment all the time
Thank you. This was an exciting discussion for me because it quickly got me thinking about my purpose in doing this work and learning to teach mindfulness. It also feels like the right place to begin in teaching this skill, because fundamentally it is about service and helping others, and remembering that will be helpful in motivating and pushing us to learn.
Appreciating your growth mindset; true that we are always students. I see how my completely my attunement and capacity for self compassion correlates to my compassion for others, and how connected it is to my sense of alignment to integrity. Graces, Andrea
I've found that I can't teach unless I live the practices. And I want to offer what I would like to receive: the most authentic, heartfelt effort by the teacher.
I really enjoyed the diagram from Pity to Compassion. I also liked how compassion can be something simple like kind eyes. There are so many things that come up for me and my clients that compassion for everything can feel overwhelming. Gazing with kindness and small acts of compassion are beautiful small victories.
Hola tribu, good session. Reminded me of the yiutube of Brene Brown on the difference between sympathy and empathy. It's about 4 min and clients "get it" when I show it. Peace, Vicente
Thank you Sean. Whatever you shared in this lesson, made a lot of sense to me. Stepping into their shoe and getting a sense of what they are struggling with is what I always follow in my sessions. Although, I have a sense of various workplace stressors and challenges that people face as I also work full time in the corporate setup, I still attempt to make my sessions very intentional to cater to the needs of my audience. I work closely with the HR team to identify the struggles of their people and that helps me to connect with my audience.
I don't teach from the book rather, I don't focus on teaching as much as I focus on Sharing. I bring examples from my life that's what my audience relates well. Sometimes, I do question myself if I am good enough to teach mindfulness as I am not someone who has years of experience in teaching or has spent years in monastery but, my life has given me enough opportunities to go deep dive and use these skills and embody these practices to the point where I can connect with my audience.
Thank you, Sean. These are great reminders – to teach from the heart with compassion in order to connect with others versus teaching out of self-doubt and self-judgment. In this way, you are not only actively helping others, but you are inspiring them with good examples of how they will one day want to be that good help, too.
Thank you, Sean. This lesson really spoke to me.
Sean emphasized non-judgement and compassion. These are important concepts for teachers to reflect on and unpack.
What is judgement?
JUDGEMENT: the ability to make considered decisions or come to sensible conclusions. [Oxford Dictionary ]
One of my traditionally trained Dharma teachers has consistently and correctly, for decades, sensibly and sincerely told his new students in groups and individual consultations, that they are “delusional” and “mad”.
He tells them that the majority of student reactions to this unexpected assessment of themselves and modern humans are predictable and they too are very likely reacting in these predictable ways: some are amused, some think he is joking or exaggerating, some are perplexed by it, some are resentful / defensive / angry, some protest, some leave, some ignore. He tells them it is their madness that causes all of these reactions.
A small number of students clearly hear it, recognize it, are shaken by it, catch a glimpse of clarity, and intuitively know that it is an accurate and rational judgement.
We now live in a time of radical individualism that is characterized by pathological alienation, mass confusion, and self-obsession. Everyone is trained to follow their own path, to regard themselves as their own teacher, to believe that they know what is best for themselves, to defend their endlessly groomed, flimsy, conditioned identity and to look for teachers that will confirm and encourage all this for them.
To sensibly challenge this nonsense is commonly mistaken now as judgy. In this topsy turvy degenerating time, truths like what my teacher clearly, matter-of-factly and, importantly, very compassionately states, are regarded as threatening to the mass of received fictions people drug themselves with to convince themselves that they (and modern society) aren’t completely and dangerously mad.
Traditional Dharma (the origin of ‘mindfulness’) teachers didn’t bend over backwards to be nonjudgmental. They made sure that their judgements weren’t the result of deluded patterns of thought or habitual emotional reaction. They sensibly judged. They were compassionately judgmental. Which begs the question: what is compassion?
My definition, consistent with my traditional Dharma training, is that it is a synthesis of an acute clarity and a generous kindness that is produced / informed by it. Clarity + kindness = compassion. When my teacher tells his new students that they are actually mad, this is a ‘judgmental’ (refer to the Oxford definition again) expression of compassion … a skillful gift of acute clarity and generous kindness.
While it is important to listen to students, and really hear them, it is critically important, if we are to be effective teachers, to carefully judge what they say from a place of clarity and kindness, with the understanding that the most generous and kindest evaluation, and the presentation of a remedy for their confusion and madness, should also cut through their madness rather than enable it.
Teaching is medicine and compassionate effective teachers are healers who understand that medicine can be painful and difficult to swallow.
Thank you for taking the time to write this. I loved reading it.
I appreciate your words and thoughts. Thank you!
thank you. I liked your definition of compassion.
Much appreciated and beautifully articulated. Much Kindness & Clarity to You 🙏🏻
I like the questions that mentioned in the webinar. Those questions have reminded me how I used to introduce and make connection with the audiences when I led educational workshops with adults.
Sometimes, people doesn’t know exactly why they want to join a course and what they want to achieve. Having those questions allows participants and also myself to think and reflect on the WHAY and WHY.
Thank you Jeffrey for the ideas of unpacking the two concepts. The concept of judgement can be vary from different people’s perspectives. The choice of words in conversation is something needed to be mindful of. Also, depends on the person’s personal experiences, sometimes, asking a simple question can be felt like being judged. So, embodied non-judgemental attitude is essential to be a mindfulness teacher.
This is a great webinar! Thank you.
Loved the part about being mindful of not being robotic & asking Q’s or doing simple small things to connect and empathize
Hey Sean,
So Happy to be onboard; thank you so much! I started to question myself as a Senior; who will listen to me as a Senior? The key for me will be: Showing a true Compassion, Engaging with the right questions, & proceeding forward with a Motivation to help them be guided with Confidence! I saw a slide on the Web one day that I hold onto today that, says, “Be The Change”, so here I am!
Thank you so much for sharing in your self-sabotage fears. I am here with this self-doubt and judgement. I want to be sure to help people in a positive direction and not lead in an ego state. I am glad to be taking this training and hearing you speak to what I have heard the greatest teachers speak to. I appreciate you!
Thank you, and I also love all the comments. Being compassionate and kind is one of the greatest skills I want to teach people. Bringing awareness to my own fears is important to me, it enables me to help others to overcome their fears. I am very exited to be here!
Oh Thank you so much 🙏 Sean for highlighting the difference between “Pity, Sympathy, Empathy and Compassion” .. I always thought I had a lot of Empathy for those around me and today I can confirm that it has always been Compassion. I thought I did understand what compassion was but actually I have been compassionate all my life. What an amazing realisation … Thank you 🙏Thank you 🙏Thank you🙏
Correction: I thought I “didn’t” understand 🙈
Compassion! So needed rith now in this world!! <3
Non-judgmental awareness is so important. How empowering to be able to go from Empathy to Compassion.
Estoy absolutamente de acuerdo en que la primera regla para enseñar Mindfulness con integridad sea la compasión. Par mí la compasión tiene la capacidad de transformar al ser humano y a la sociedad porque es el proceso de acercarse a la dificultad, al dolor y al sufrimiento y lograr estar con ellos de manera amable y con amor y luego es el deseo y la acción de aliviar ese sufrimiento. Desde esa compasión no hay juicio, solo amor incondicional hacia la otra persona, deseo de que se libere de su sufrimiento y de que sea feliz. Desde ese sentimiento todo es entregado y recibido desde el corazón y no desde el juicio.
Love this teaching on non-judgmental awareness. I also agree that having compassion and kindness for ourselves and for others is so important and want to help others develop a similar appreciation.
Thank you Sean. Self-doubt is something I struggle with and this video brought to light important reminders such as Embody the beginner's mind and asking people about themselves – why, what, how. Important foundation for this training.
This lesson allowed me to begin where I am, not perfect now.
Compassionate listening is so important especially in today’s current climate. Thankyou Sean
Thank you for the reflective questions! Excited to have started this course!
Enjoyed listening to this short lesson. The questions and the distinction empathy vs compassion were very helpful.
Thank you Sean,
I really enjoyed this lesson. I feel now in middle age I am beginning to explore my world with greater curiosity than ever before. I am grateful to be here at this time. I have self doubt , social anxiety and experience impostor syndrome which has held me back in the past. I am looking forward now with greater optimism.
Love this lesson.
I help me looking inward with myself and connecting outward with others
Thank you, Sean. This lesson allowed me to extend compassion towards myself so I can allow the same for others, unconditionally. I have what it takes to learn and teach just by being accepting of myself and others where I am, right now. In time, I will learn and develop more, adding to what I have now and practicing that now.
This is this character trait that convince me to take this journey. I've managed many struggles during my childhood and developed a great sense of empathy which becomes then by being very attentive and sensible to what people around me are facing into their lives or feeling .
There is also no doubt That I will need to build confidence while choosing to master mindfulness and teach to others
I've found that Compassion for me has been a way to hold my clients with an energy / open door to the possibility that as I have judgement- free space, that they too can start to look at things judgement free…. that what they called "pain, hurt, story" can become "things, moments, sensations". the moment you can get to a time when pain doesn't have to be labeled, the acceptance starts demistifying and depowering pain… so what I'm saying is that compassion is really a key that can unlock WAY MORE than people realize.
My personal path as spiritual very spiritual human being has been not judging. I was a layer so, I was very judgemental in my way of being, but having two kids made me more kind and flexible and now in this path of mindfulness, and primordial sound mantra teacher and student of quantum physics in Quantum University is for me a pleasure to live without judgements in my mind, my heart feels much more soft and light and I flow most of the time, even though I am very aware I have to do my practice everyday to stay on on track of the observer of the thoughts, senses, experiences etc… Living with curiosity teaching with my most humanity vulnerability and humility. Embracing the universal conscious and be open to everyone and everything,.
I resonate with this title and my biggest takeaway from this lecture was to be compassionate and open with people I am working with…no judgment. Cultivate a sense of care.
Thank you 🙏🏾
Thank you for the insightful questions and that continuum from pity to compassion.
compassion for self and trust that whatever I can offer if I offer it with compassion and integrity that is enough. I think of a quote that I'm not sure I remember completely accurately, along the lines of:
"you may not be the best person for the job. but in this moment you are the person for the job, do your best."
Loving the emphasis on compassion and engagement.. I feel this deeply..
These few videos and lessons have opened me up to exactly why I joined this program. I want to learn more
How to start from our heart and see the root of teaching mindfulness.
They are reminding lessons to me. Thank you!.
I really appreciate the way you set up the dynamic between teacher and student (not sure those are really the best descriptors, but they are clear, for the purpose of the comment here). The approach of leaning in to what the student seeks versus what we might think they need is a beautiful way to express and lead sessions from a place of the beginner's mind for both student and teacher. Lovely way to set the session(s) up for compassionate interaction. Thank you!
I love your definitions of pity, sympathy, empathy, and compassion. You made it so much easier to understand the difference.
Thank you – great start!
As I begin my training, I am reminded to be compassionate for others and for myself. I also wrote down the questions you shared and I will be reflecting on them. Thanks, Sean. This was very helpful and enlightening.
Thank you. Questions are really helpful, as well as to know that compassion is the core of mindfulness teaching.
Thank you Sean. I believe my main take away from that lovely introduction is to have the care and well-being of the client/student foremost in all interactions and to appreciate the privilege it is to play a part in that person's progress along the mindfulness path.
I love the questions you pose for us to be thinking about our clients but also really reflecting on why we want to be doing this work: "Why do I …?" "How can I…?"
I 1000% relate to the Empathy vs Compassion. Empathy is something you feel, compassion is taking that feeling and putting it into an action for another with nothing expected in return.
As an Educator in Preschool AND Higher Ed, my goal has always been to consider the individual's needs whether they are 5 or 20. I am consistently suggesting to my colleagues "In order to know what our students want or need, we need to ask them directly." This holds true in my personal life as well.
I am looking forward to deepening this knowledge through more practices and specific questions.
Loved this lesson.
Really resonated with me right now and reaffirmed why I decided to take this course. Thank you.
I really appreciated the Empathy vs Compassion slide with the Pity-Sympathy-Empathy-Compassion definitions below. People get these words confused often and this was a simple delineation that made it so clear.
I want to be sure to help people in a positive direction and not lead in an ego state. I am glad to be taking this training it keeps me in the present moment all the time
🤍
Thank you. This was an exciting discussion for me because it quickly got me thinking about my purpose in doing this work and learning to teach mindfulness. It also feels like the right place to begin in teaching this skill, because fundamentally it is about service and helping others, and remembering that will be helpful in motivating and pushing us to learn.
Appreciating your growth mindset; true that we are always students. I see how my completely my attunement and capacity for self compassion correlates to my compassion for others, and how connected it is to my sense of alignment to integrity. Graces, Andrea
I really enjoyed the slide for asking clients those essential questions, as well as the spectrum of sympathy to compassion slide.
This is exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you for this lesson, it really inspired me.
Thank you. Becoming non-judgemental is very powerful. An an example, I now can scroll a news feed without triggering stress or anxiety. 🙂
I've only just started but I feel I am in the right place at the right time. Thank you
I've found that I can't teach unless I live the practices. And I want to offer what I would like to receive: the most authentic, heartfelt effort by the teacher.
Yes yes I have all these questions and doubts about myself
I really enjoyed the diagram from Pity to Compassion. I also liked how compassion can be something simple like kind eyes. There are so many things that come up for me and my clients that compassion for everything can feel overwhelming. Gazing with kindness and small acts of compassion are beautiful small victories.
Hola tribu, good session. Reminded me of the yiutube of Brene Brown on the difference between sympathy and empathy. It's about 4 min and clients "get it" when I show it. Peace, Vicente
Thank you Sean. Whatever you shared in this lesson, made a lot of sense to me. Stepping into their shoe and getting a sense of what they are struggling with is what I always follow in my sessions. Although, I have a sense of various workplace stressors and challenges that people face as I also work full time in the corporate setup, I still attempt to make my sessions very intentional to cater to the needs of my audience. I work closely with the HR team to identify the struggles of their people and that helps me to connect with my audience.
I don't teach from the book rather, I don't focus on teaching as much as I focus on Sharing. I bring examples from my life that's what my audience relates well. Sometimes, I do question myself if I am good enough to teach mindfulness as I am not someone who has years of experience in teaching or has spent years in monastery but, my life has given me enough opportunities to go deep dive and use these skills and embody these practices to the point where I can connect with my audience.
Thank you, Sean. These are great reminders – to teach from the heart with compassion in order to connect with others versus teaching out of self-doubt and self-judgment. In this way, you are not only actively helping others, but you are inspiring them with good examples of how they will one day want to be that good help, too.